Plot summary

The seaside town of Fircombe is facing a crisis - it's always raining and there's nothing for the tourists to do. Councillor Sidney Fiddler (Sid James) hits on the notion of holding a beauty contest. The mayor, Frederick Bumble (Kenneth Connor) is taken with the idea but feminist councilor, Augusta Prodworthy (June Whitfield) is outraged and storms out of the meeting. The motion is carried in Augusta's absence and Sidney contacts publicist Peter Potter (Bernard Bresslaw) to help with the organization of the contest. Peter is engaged to Paula who is immensely protective of Peter & is angry to find that Peter is going to Fircombe to organize the publicity for its beauty contest.Sidney's girlfriend, Connie Philpotts (Joan Sims) runs a local hotel and soon her residents, including the eccentric Mrs Dukes (Joan Hickson) and the Admiral (Peter Butterworth) are outnumbered by dolly birds, including the feuding biker babe, Hope Springs (Barbara Windsor) and the bountiful Dawn Brakes (Margaret Nolan). A cat-fight orchestrated by Hope provides better newspaper copy than bringing a donkey off the beach which, despite the bucket and spade of hotel employee William (Jack Douglas), ruins the plush carpets. Hope & Dawn are rivals and Hope maintains that last year Dawn stooped to stealing Hope's silver bikini to prevent her from participating in the contest. Hope has hated Dawn since then.Connie is angry that the half-naked beauty contestants are driving away her regular permanent customers. Augusta's son, press photographer Larry (Robin Askwith), is hired to document the donkey stunt and snaps the cat-fight that has the Mayor losing his trousers, then gulps his way through a nude photo shoot with Dawn. Prodworthy is determined to be elected as the next Mayor of Fircombe and marshals her troops to sabotage the contest. She plasters the Mayor's photo with his trousers down, all over the town to bring attention to the decadence being promoted by the contest. The Mayor is angry & even insults his wife Mildred.The Mayor's wife, Mildred (Patsy Rowlands) joins Prodworthy's bra-burning movement and plots the downfall of the Miss Fircombe contest on the pier. Peter Potter reluctantly becomes a man in a frock for another publicity gimmick for the television show, Women's Things, presented by Cecil Gaybody (Jimmy Logan) and produced by Debra (Sally Geeson). The idea is to deliberately cause a scandal by showing that a man disguised as a woman to enter the contest. This idea comes from Hope. Sidney then gets the news to Prodworthy that one of the contests is a male.Meanwhile Paula (Valerie Leon) has seen pictures of Peter sitting on a donkey, surrounded by half naked females & rushes to Fircombe. Prodworthy and butch feminist Rosemary (Patricia Franklin) call in the police (David Lodge and Billy Cornelius) to investigate the male pageant contestant. Sidney makes all the girls strip, thereby exposing Peter. Peter runs to his room, only to find Paula waiting for him. He is rescued by Hope who takes him into her room and pretends they are making out. The police are convinced that Peter is not the man who disguised as a woman & leave. But Paula sees Peter & Hope kissing & is even more angry.As the scandal hits the papers, the hotel bookings go through the roof. Hope sits with Paula & explains that Peter is innocent. Paula decides to enter the beauty contest herself. Sidney sells the TV rights to the final event for 5000 pounds.Prodworthy's gang put "Operation Spoilsport" into action, sabotaging the final contest with water, mud, and itching powder. With an angry mob after his blood, Sidney makes his escape with Hope on her motorcycle, after he finds that Connie has run away with all the ticket proceeds to pay for the damages to her hotel.